How to Know When Jealousy Goes Too Far

Jealousy is considered to be a normal, even healthy part of any relationship when two people care about each other. Your spouse may get a little bothered when you spend a lot of time with someone else or if they feel you are behaving inappropriately or flirty with another person. However, there is a line between healthy jealousy and cruelty in a marriage.

The state of Ohio does allow fault-based divorce filings, and extreme cruelty can be used as a reason for a fault-based divorce. When jealousy has stepped over the line, serious mental cruelty can definitely be claimed. Here are a few examples of acts of jealously that have evolved into cruel behavior.

Your Spouse Doesn't Want You Spending Any Time with Others

In a healthy relationship, couples typically want to spend time together, but you should always have an understanding that spending time with others at times is both healthy and permissible. If you have a spouse who makes it difficult for you to spend time with others, such as your friends or family members, it can be a sign that jealousy has been taken a little too far and has become cruel behavior.

For example, if you spend a few hours with your mother and it results in your spouse picking a fight with you because you used that time for someone else, this could be cruelty. If you eventually start to isolate yourself from everyone except your spouse because your spouse makes it so difficult for you if you spend time with someone else, this is a sign of unfair cruelty in the marriage.

You Are Repeatedly Accused of Adultery Even Though You're Innocent

Perhaps one of the most common ways jealousy becomes cruel or malicious behavior is when your spouse repeatedly accuses you of having an affair or some wrongdoing even though you've done nothing wrong. Unfounded accusations can make it difficult to have any kind of peace in the relationship, and the accusations can inhibit your ability to live a normal life.

A few examples of unfounded accusations that may occur include:

• You are accused of having an affair because you are late getting home from work
• You are accused of having an extramarital relationship with your friends
• You are accused of having a relationship with someone online

Individuals who are consistently or repeatedly accused of adultery often develop an irrational fear or resistance to doing everyday things, such as using social media, working extra hours, or even communicating with people of the opposite sex.

You Are Made to Feel Uncomfortable Around Others

Healthy jealousy can mean you become more mindful of your behavior around people your spouse perceives as a threat. For instance, if your wife gets a little offended if you wink at another female, it is natural to not wink at others. However, if you are made to feel like you are always doing something wrong when around others, this is far more than typical jealousy.

People who have issues with jealousy commonly feel insecure in the marriage. Therefore, they can consistently be on the lookout for signs you are doing something wrong when you're with other people. According to Psychology Today, harmful jealousy springs from insecurity. It is exactly that insecurity that can lead to unwarranted preoccupation with how you behave around other people.

Staying in a relationship with someone who is inflicting emotional harm can have detrimental outcomes. If you believe your spouse is jealous beyond reason and you have good grounds for a fault-based divorce, reach out to us at Mary E. Papcke, Attorney at Law for help.